Options

Growin' Up

When I was in grad school, I also had a job.  At that most ridiculous of all rituals, The Annual Review, my boss and I discussed the possibility that I would make the leap and become a full-time employee.  He described growing up to me then as a conscious decision to reduce your options.  “I choose to attend NYU.”  “I choose to major in economics.” “I choose to work instead of pursuing a Ph.D.” “I choose marriage, kids, mortgage, …”

He wasn’t saying that reducing your options is a bad thing.  I think he was saying the opposite.  Choosing your path – making a commitment – is better than floating around aimlessly.  I made a choice on that day and took one of many steps toward becoming a grown-up.

I’ve thought of this a lot over the last few days upon hearing the news of Mariano Rivera’s career-threatening injury (He says he’s coming back, but I’ll believe it when I see it.) and the deaths of Adam “MCA” Yauch and Maurice Sendak.  You can choose to grow up by reducing your options, or it can just happen to you as the book gets closed on parts of your life, whether you want it to or not.

I was awestruck by Mariano Rivera’s performance in Game 2 of the 1995 American League Division Series against the Mariners when I was living in Seattle.  Since then, he has been a fixture of every summer and almost every fall for me.  That’s likely over now.  Adam Yauch and the Beastie Boys showed up when I was 15 or 16 years old.  My brother was ahead of me as a big fan, while I started to take real notice with the release of Ill Communication.  Still, they’ve been part of the background music of my life for all of that time.  Now, they’re finished as an act.  In 1977, I sat in the school library while Mrs. Flannery paged through Where The Wild Things Are for my first grade class.  For the last nine or so years, I’ve sat with CoolDaughters 1 & 2 through every television episode of Little Bear in all of its calming and soothing glory.  And, now, Maurice Sendak is gone, too.

It’s made me kind of sad lately to see the chapters of “Young Adult,” “Teen,” “Child” end as their component parts start to fade away, both through my own choices and just because that’s what happens.  Not to diminish the chapters of “Adult,” “Husband,” “Father” that are still in progress, but I think I chose to start “CoolDad” – buying music made by kids, going to so many shows, maintaining this blog, playing the guitar – in response to what’s been happening to some of those earlier parts.  Mid-life crisis?  I don’t know, maybe.

I do know that there are a lot of bands out there that interest me now.  I don’t have to wait for a reunion tour or album and wonder who’s going to fill in for the missing members.  Because of where I live, sometimes multiple bands I love are playing on the same night at different venues.  On those nights, I have lots of options.