It was a game time decision for me today. I haven't been running in months, and I've been telling myself every day that I would start again. As I sat in my office this morning, I'd kind of put it out of my mind, resigned myself to another day vegetating in front of the computer. Then I checked the current weather: still only 76 degrees. I still had 90 minutes until my next meeting, so I put on my shorts and my shoes, grabbed my headphones, pressed play on Roadside Graves' Acne / Ears, and headed out.
I started out slowly as John Gleason sang over some quiet guitar, "I don't expect you to understand where I came from. I'm just happy you're listening" on "Acne / Ears." A perfect sentiment for the opening track to a record that covers so many personal moments. As the "Acne" portion of the song -- a high school misfit with literal and metaphorical acne scars -- changed to the "Ears" section, I felt myself getting kind of choked up -- and speeding up -- to the faster, louder, bathed in guitars and synths "Ears were meant to be destroyed by boys in basements makin' noise."
That continued through "Clouds," a more direct callback to some of Roadside Graves' earlier Americana folk rock. I bounced along with the song and its refrain, "I got faith. I can't give it away. Lord knows, I'm gonna die someday." I'm out of shape, so I was kind of spent at this point.
"Endangered" gave me a little break as I lumbered past the houses on Winding Way. I told CoolDaughter #2 yesterday that Labor Day always makes me kind of sad because I love summer so much. Even though it was brutally hot, I started thinking about fall as Gleason sang, "The weather affects me more than you'll ever know."
"The Whole Night" carried me through the first part of mile number two. As Gleason sang about the death of his father, I thought about my parents, each of whom lost their fathers before the age of 10. I thought about the very specific and sometimes grotesque memories -- flashes from early childhood really -- they had of those terrible times. And I thought about how lucky CoolMom and I are to still have our moms and dads, and how lucky we are to have this time with the CoolDaughters. All as I turned onto Lippincott.
Time to pick it up again for "Body." Some more weird and wild synths from John Piatkowski, and I'm starting to heat up. For a second, I thought the lyric was "Tell me if my body's too light," which makes no sense in the context of the song (It's "loud"). I thought, "Geez, I obviously don't have that problem," as I huffed and stumbled along.
"Donna (Reno)" is another slow burner. Almost like spoken word over that kind of muted, distorted guitar that reminds me of some classic rock song I can't place. The song contains some of the best single lines on the record. In the context of my particular situation -- sweating, dying -- I identified immediately with Donna's, "I wanna feel lower temperatures. I wanna see fields of green." I also identified with the self-consciousness in statements like, "Laughing always worries me. It makes me think I've done something wrong," or "I don't wear sunglasses. I'm just afraid somebody might think I'm an asshole."
What I thought was my last gasp of energy came during "Contact High Alumni," it's opening school bell indicating that we're in high school and giving a melancholy feel to Gleason's "The friends I have, you see, I will have 'em forever." I still have some from that time in my life, but not many. It's a fun song overall, though; and hello Renee Maskin: "Blue balloons, red ballloons, white balloons, pink balloons, black balloons."
Let's just say that, at this point -- through the wide-open sounds of "I Thought We'd Last," the 50s vibe of "City," and the short party that is "Saturday Night" -- I was just about done. I started walking as "Gospel Radio" began, but as the "Hallelujahs" came around, I started running again. "There ain't no static on Gospel radio" saw me spending my last reserves as I ran past the mailbox at the end of our driveway.
"Surfin'" closes things out. It's a slow one that expresses the envy we all feel for people who surf (or play rock music or, generally, just do whatever they want) free of the responsibilities of adulthood and everyday life. They just sit and wait for the next big wave to come around while we all plod along waiting for the next metaphorical one.
By my calculations, I did about 12-14 minute miles. That's a far cry from the days when I was doing half marathons and regular long runs, but it felt good. We've been going through a lot of changes here at CDMHQ. Professional changes. The kids are constantly changing. They haven't been negative changes for the most part, but change still brings lots of uncertainty with it; and it's all just felt like a weight bearing down on top of me. As I ran and listened to Acne / Ears with its songs about life's moments and changes, I felt that weight lifting. I'm not lying when I say I felt a lump in my throat more than a few times. The combination of these songs and just the feeling of getting back out there was kind of overwhelming, I guess. In a good way. I miss listening to albums this way. I hope I can keep it up.
The Roadside Graves' Acne / Ears is out now on Don Giovanni Records.
No comments :
Post a Comment