November 9th, 2016

Work

What have I ever done?

I mean really ever DONE. I guess I've voted every time since I became eligible. I've donated to a couple of political campaigns or causes. But I've, mostly, just sat back and either applauded or criticized the work of others.

I've just sat here listening to NPR, reading the New York Times, tweeting, and laughing at how Jon Stewart / Stephen Colbert / Alec Baldwin or whomever really skewered / eviscerated / dismantled or whatevered some ridiculous person.

I've just sat here in my house all smug.

You don't get to be smug in a democracy, it turns out. You have to work for what you believe in. You have to fight every day forever because there's always someone who's willing to give up a little bit of this country, to sell a piece of it down the river, for some small amount of certainty / comfort / safety / personal gain.

There wasn't a ton of conversation with the cooldaughters on the ride to school this morning. I tried asking them what was coming up for the day. CoolDaughter #1 was crying. CoolDaughter #2 was just worried about how "all the boys would be cheering." It struck me that she singled out "the boys" and not everyone.

I tried to stay upbeat. I didn't know what to tell them other than keep working hard in school, keep educating yourself, stick up for yourself but try to be polite to everyone no matter what they say.

But me? I'm an adult. I've spent so long not really doing anything that I don't even know how to start. I need to find out, though.

It's fragile what we've built here. If we all just sit around surfing the Internet, watching football, leaving the management of it to other people -- on both sides, we're going to lose it. For 240 years, people have fought every day to make this country what they thought it could be.

People have left their homes and families to fight tyranny overseas. People have gone to jail. People have been bludgeoned, sprayed with firehoses. People have died.

People have fucking died.

I'm not talking about politicking every day. I'm not saying I'm going to rush out and march or run for office or volunteer on a political campaign. Maybe I'll do that someday.

But I'm talking more about just getting involved. Working to make a difference, however small. Maybe volunteering with organizations that build community, that build empathy among people, that empower or give a voice to people typically underrepresented and unheard in our society in a constructive way. Just doing something that, in some small, teeny-tiny way, helps people understand each other. I don't know.

I just know that I can't look into the faces of my daughters again and feel like I've just been sitting on the sidelines.