Top Minivan Songs of 2018

CoolVan

Five By Five

The cooldaughters are growing up. They're becoming their own people. They don't care to hear my music. Or my voice. They wear headphones in the coolvan.

And that's when we're even in the coolvan together. CoolDaughter #2 is no longer in a carpool, having switched to another swim team; and CoolMom handles about half of that driving. I only end up driving CoolDaughter #1 two evenings per week now. During those rides, it's been my music forced upon her and her befuddled teammates if we have any music at all.

I struggled a bit with how I was going to put together this year's list of Minivan Songs; but, then, I had an idea. I asked each cooldaughter to submit a list of five songs -- five of the things that they are mysteriously pumping into their brains via their headphones while they're ignoring me. It ended up being pretty interesting to see not only how their tastes are evolving but also how they're evolving differently. Here we go.

CoolDaughter #1

Of my two daughters, CoolDaughter #1 seems to have the more conventional taste in music. She submitted some very big songs for this year's list. But she also surprised me with a couple of what could be counted as "oldies" here in 2018.

"thank u, next" -- Ariana Grande

In less than 10 days, the video for this song has amassed 137 million views on YouTube. It features some funny references to Grande's real life (Troye Sivan says, "I heard she's a lesbian now and dating some chick called Aubrey," in reference to a commonly misheard lyric about self-love in the song) as well as spot-on re-creations of scenes (including cameos) from several films -- Mean Girls, Bring It On, 13 Going On 30, and Legally Blonde. CoolDaughter #1 loves all of these movies.

It's a high-budget, well-executed clip for a song I find kind of meh. I guess what I mean is: It's a fine pop hit -- the "thank u, next (next)" in the chorus does get stuck in your head -- but I don't get why it's such a phenomenon. Oh, well. I'm old.



"Psycho" -- Post Malone ft. Ty Dolla $ign

Speaking of old, here's how old I am. I was only vaguely familiar with the idea that there was an act out there called Post Malone. Until CoolDaughter #1 submitted her list, I wasn't sure if Post Malone referred to a person or a band.

Anyway, "Psycho" has half a billion views on YouTube. It's from Post Malone's sophomore album, beerbongs & bentleys; and it features Malone and Ty Dolla $ign rapping about the trappings of success like Lambos, Ferraris, and jewelry. In the video, Post Malone is driving around in a tank and killing post-apocalyptic, animatronic wolves with a flamethrower, which is pretty badass.

The other fact I know about this song is that CoolMom will not let CoolDaughter #1 play it while she is driving because the siren sounds in the song confuse and frighten her when she is behind the wheel.



"broken" -- lovelytheband

I love CoolDaughter #1, and I respect what she likes. She is a thoughtful, brilliant, strong young woman. She enjoys this song, simply, for the well-crafted pop song that it is. I don't mean this to be any kind of a knock on her, but...

...to meeee...

This is one of those "alternative rock" or "indie pop" songs that cracks the Top 40 and crosses over to SirusXM Alt Nation and SiriusXM Coffee House and maybe even SiriusXMU. It is one of those bland, lowest common denominator, mono-genre songs like those produced by Imagine Dragons or Echosmith or something. It's big -- real big -- with about 15 million views on YouTube, but not as big as those other songs; so it retains some "cool factor" and alt / indie cred. It feels manufactured, focus group tested.

lovelytheband played the New Asbury Lanes a few months ago.



"Happier" -- Marshmello ft. Bastille

Philly DJ and producer, Marshmello, did this one with Bastille. If I had been doing Minvan Songs lists back when Bastille's "Pompeii" came out, that song would have made the list without a doubt.

This video, featuring Miranda Cosgrove and a beautiful golden retriever, legit made me cry. That's all.



"Stacy's Mom" -- Fountains Of Wayne / "1985" -- Bowling For Soup

Years and years ago, when CoolMom and I first moved back to Jersey, my brother won tickets from whatever incarnation of 106.3FM was happening at the time to see Fountains Of Wayne and John Eddie. I think the show was at Naval Weapons Station Earle, if that's possible. Anyway, he gave the tickets to me; and CoolMom and I had a fun, little, outdoor evening with Fountains Of Wayne.

It kind of surprised me when CoolDaughter #1 included both of these aughties power pop hits on her list. I shouldn't have been surprised, though, as she clearly likes a good hook and a sing-alongable chorus. Both of these songs have those in spades. There's a striking similarity between these songs and their videos (which is why I'm making this a two-fer). I did have to go back and make sure she meant the original, Cars-inspired, Fountains Of Wayne version of "Stacy's Mom" and not the very popular Bowling For Soup cover. She went with the Jersey Fresh version.





CoolDaughter #2

A few months ago, CoolDaughter #2 told me that she enjoyed theatrical, baroque pop and emo-type stuff. I'd see her walking around the house with her wireless headphones on mouthing the words to "Welcome to the Black Parade" (my kids do like their NJ music, I guess). That taste for theatrical pop seems to have evolved into a taste for musical theater.

"Roaring 20s" / "Golden Days" -- Panic! At The Disco

Earlier this year, Panic! At The Disco announced a surprise, pop-up Pray For The Wicked preview set at the Stone Pony. By the time I'd heard about it, it was really too late to hope to get into the show. I mentioned it to CoolDaughter #2 later in the afternoon, and the stricken look that came across her face when I told her we weren't going made me realize how badly I'd messed up. I bought floor seats for her, CoolCousin, and CoolMom for the band's show at Prudential Center next month.

Anyway, she submitted two songs from Panic! At The Disco for this list. Brendon Urie definitely brings a flair for the dramatic to his performance, and it doesn't surprise me that a budding musical theater kid would be drawn to these. I can only imagine what level of production value will go into this live show. And, I'm not going; so imagining is all I'll be doing.

"Golden Days" comes from the band's 2016 album, the platinum-selling Death of a Bachelor; while "Roaring 20s" is off of this year's Pray for the Wicked.





"The World Will Know" / "Watch What Happens"-- Newsies (Original Broadway Cast Recording)

CoolDaughter #2 loves this musical. I know she's seen it at least once at the Axelrod in Deal. She's watched the movie with CoolMom, and I think they've watched some performance on YouTube, too. She plays the cast recording in the car on the way to and from swim meets (with CoolMom).

These songs are my first exposure to this show. "The World Will Know" comes as main character, Jack Kelly, launches a protest against the exploitation of the "newsies" by publishing robber barons Hearst and Pulitzer. "Watch What Happens" is cool as it's sung from the point of view of a female reporter covering the protest and trying to make it in the face of 19th century attitudes towards women.

Fighting for the little guy / gal. New York. Unions. Sounds like my kinda thing. My only disappointment is that she didn't pick "Brooklyn's Here" which features the Brooklyn newsies coming to the aid of Jack and his crew. People from Brooklyn are so badass.





"D.O.A." -- The Lighting Thief Original Cast Recording

CoolDaughter #2's other passion is the work of author Rick Riordan. Riordan writes children's fantasy novels based around Greco-Roman, Egyptian, and Norse mythology. His most famous series is Percy Jackon and the Olympians of which The Lightning Thief is Book 1. But you knew all of that.

In what has to be the coolest development ever for CoolDaughter #2, there is now a musical based on The Lightning Thief. She and CoolMom will be seeing a touring production early next year. This is another soundtrack she plays in the van all the time, apparently.



Me, and a Poll: "Spirit FM" -- Bad Moves vs "Who's Got Time?" -- Flasher

I recently put these two songs to a vote in the coolvan among CoolDaughter #1, CoolDaughter #2, and CoolMom as to which should be the Song of 2018 on the CoolDad Music Year-End Favorite Songs List. As is the nature of these things with me, I'm not sure now if either will be number 1; but both will definitely be highly-ranked. Bad Moves' Tell No One and Flasher's Constant Image will both make the albums list for sure.

The female members of the CoolFamily come down unanimously on the side of "Spirit FM." If you had to pick one of these, which would it be?

Top 10 Minivan Songs of 2017

CoolVan, 2017 Edition

Swagger Wagon

It's December, so that means it's time to start the lists. For the last few years, I've kicked off list season with the "Minivan Songs" post. This, amazingly, is the fifth installment.

Two things have changed since last year:

1. Last year, I said that it was getting harder and harder to put this together because the cooldaughters were sharing less music with me and I was driving fewer carpool shifts. Well, now I'm back to driving regularly; and the cooldaughters have started doing things like blasting their music in their rooms.

2. I started last year's post with "We've gone over 120K miles on the CoolVan, and I have no plans to trade it in." I traded it in. But! I re-upped with a newer model of the same van in a very similar color, so we're still doin' that minivan life.

Minivan life means minivan songs. So here are about 10 of the songs that soundtracked the cabins of our old and new minivans during 2017.

10. "Look What You Made Me Do" -- Taylor Swift

Neither of the cooldaughters is really sold on Reputation. CoolDaughter #2's swim carpool, though, loves this one. One of the girls has a bunch of remixes on her phone that she plays on the drives over to swim practice. She does this even if a different song is playing on the radio.

Typical drive to the pool: CD2 reading silently in the front seat. One girl playing "Look What You Made Me Do" remixes from her phone. One girl dancing like a maniac. One girl reading poetry aloud. One girl taking it all in with an incredulous smile.

My favorite thing about this song is that, with Nazis marching in the streets, with North Korea successfully testing ICBMs, with our entire country on the brink of some kind of civil war, the most powerful pop star in the world is still mad at Kanye West and Katy Perry.

I also love "The old Taylor can't come to the phone right now. Why?? 'Cause she's dead!"



9. "That's What I Like" -- Bruno Mars

I'm not a huge Bruno Mars fan. And, honestly, I haven't heard the girls talk too much about this one even though it's on in the car a whole bunch. One thing I will say, though: Bruno Mars makes actual music. Like, I'm sure he's taken the odd meeting about how to work some advertiser keywords into his songs, but the songs have a retro-King of Pop vibe that is legit.

Also, variations of "That's what I like. That's what I like." have become a thing I say all the time as kind of a lame dad joke. Give the dog a piece of steak: "That's what he likes. That's what he likes." Give CD1 a bowl of ice cream: "That's what she likes. That's what she likes." You get the idea.



8. "Despacito" -- Luis Fonsi ft. Daddy Yankee

I think the one we hear in the van most often is the one with Justin Bieber on it, but this is the original. When I was trying to decide which version to post here, I went with the one that has 4.4 BILLION!!! views. What else can I say? Biggest song on earth this year, ever even; so it kinda has to be here. It's cool listening to all the kids in the car try to sing along with it.

La Perla, the neighborhood in San Juan that serves as the setting for this video, suffered mightily at the hands of Hurricane Maria. Here are some ways you can help out your neighbors and fellow citizens courtesy of PBS Newshour.



7. "Slow Hands" -- Niall Horan

We've been an anti-One Direction household ever since Harry Styles and Taylor Swift called it quits. #TeamTayTay. CD1 would go so far as to violently turn off the radio if she recognized a One Direction song. Things have softened a bit as the individual members have ventured out on their own. This is a harmless enough pop song.

There's this little engineered "whooo" that comes up at the end of the chorus, and I can always see CD2 out of the corner of my eye waiting for me to do it when it comes around. I usually say "Whooo!" and poke my finger in the air or something. She gets embarrassed if we've got the carpool.



Whoops!! Sorry...



6. "It Ain't Me" -- Kygo, Selena Gomez

I'm still at that point where it's weird to hear a bunch of tween or teen girls sing about "Sipping whiskey neat" and "When you're drunk and all alone," but this song is pretty tame when compared to lots of pop.

Another thing: I'm not saying that Selena Gomez needs to use Auto-tune or robot voice machine or whatever, but she sure does use it a lot. It could just be for effect; but I find myself always saying, "she sounds like a robot" to the girls in the car.

Anyway, I guess this song's message about not being co-dependent is a good one.



5. "Stay" -- Zedd, Alessia Cara

I saw that Alessia Cara was the musical guest on SNL once; and I said, "Who is that?" Now, it is pretty likely I was just out of the loop; but it also seems like some of these big pop stars just get unleashed on the world without much build-up.

Alessia Cara is pretty big now, and even I know who she is. She can sing. I was already familiar with Zedd from previous collaborations with Selena Gomez, Kesha, and, perhaps most notably, Ariana Grande.

I associate this song pretty heavily with morning carpool pickup during the summer long-course swim season. It has some of that vinyl record popping and hissing at the beginning. I've never been sure if that's just there on the sample they used or if it was added for effect. The defining characteristic of this song for me, though, is the way the "drums" on the second part of the chorus sound like the band at a high school football game.



4. "What About Us" -- Pink

CD2 had a swim meet a couple of weeks ago at Peddie School in Hightstown, NJ. She pretty much runs the radio when it's just us, and she bounces between SiriusXM Hits 1 (which, sensibly, used to be channel 1 but is now channel 2 for some reason) and Z100. On the weekends, SirusXM put their channel on a never-ending countdown loop that just plays the same 45 songs over and over and over again. Z100 plays from a very narrow list of current hits but will sprinkle in the occasional "Baby One More Time" or "Roar" from time to time. We managed to hear Pink's "What About Us," the number 1 song on the SiriusXM countdown that week, a total of about 8 times between the two stations during our drives there and back.

CD2 has always taken her singing along with the radio very seriously. The cheesy melodrama of this song really makes for some heartfelt performances from her.



3. "There's Nothing Holding Me Back" -- Shawn Mendes

This is going to sound really bad, but why do kids today (or has it been kids always?) like pop music that is so unchallenging and unthreatening? I mean, Shawn Mendes is clearly very talented. There is nothing wrong with this song; but, to me anyway, it's just so... ...blah...

Kind of like Taylor Swift up above, it just has this corporate, least common denominator polish that I can't see moving anyone. The cooldaughters enjoy it, though, and I value their opinions. They were pretty bummed to miss out on Shawn's tour with the next entry on this list.



2. "Attention" -- Charlie Puth

I like to pretend that the opening line to this song is "You been runnin' 'round, runnin' 'round, runnin' 'round, throwin' that turtle on my name." It's more fun that way.

Anyway, Charlie Puth really has made good following his hard-scrabble upbringing on the mean streets of Rumson, NJ. This song is another one that gives me a kind of 80s R&B vibe, and the video features Samara Weaving (She is the niece of Agent Smith / Elrond.) who starred in Netflix's schlocky tribute to 80s slasher movies, The Babysitter.

Charlie Puth is a hometown hero; and, every time he comes around, I see the cooldaughters' friends and their moms posting pictures of themselves smiling wildly at the show.



1. (CD2, Tie) "Believer" -- Imagine Dragons, "Something Just Like This" -- Coldplay, The Chainsmokers

CD1 wanted a bluetooth speaker for Christmas / Hanukkah last year. I did a little bit of research and went out and bought her one not knowing that CoolMom had ordered one from Amazon. Mine was a little Sony job that got good reviews. CoolMom's was a cylinder combo light / speaker that changed colors and came in a white box that said "Romantic Life" on it and nothing else. We gave CD1 the Sony, and Romantic Life sat romantically in a closet for several months.

CD2 then discovered Google Play music and started listening to songs through the little speaker on her phone. I said, "I have something for you!" Now, I can hear her in her room playing these songs and singing along as she does her homework. Romantic, no?

Imagine Dragons and Coldplay are the bands that pass for "rock" in the world of Top 40 music. I don't even know what to make of that.

CD2 discovered these on her summer camp bus, I think. She will not let me change the channel when they come on the radio, and she knows every word. To her credit, of "Something Just Like This," she always says, "I like the singing (Coldplay) part better than the music (The Chainsmokers) part." That's heartening because The Chainsmokers are insufferable.



I wonder if Imagine Dragons still have that big drum. From this video, the drums look pretty regular-sized.



1. (CD1) "Castle on the Hill" -- Ed Sheeran

I've been a big fan of Billy Bragg for a long time. Back to Basics, Talking with the Taxman about Poetry, Workers' Playtime. Those are some of my favorite records ever. One of the most fun things about Billy Bragg is singing along with his songs while trying to mimic his accent. That's what CD1 does with her beloved Ed Sheeran.

"Over the caaahhhhstle on the hill..."

This choice was pretty tough because, despite the world domination of "Despacito," Ed Sheeran has been blowing up the minivan's radio ever since ÷ came out. "Shape of You," "Galway Girl," and "Perfect." The cooldaughters know the words to every one of these. "Castle on the Hill," though, is the one I think. It's another one that defines summer swim carpooling for me. It's another one that you'd be able to hear 4 times in an hour without trying very hard. It's another one with uncomfortable-sounding moments when sung by your children like, "Me and my friends have not thrown up in so long." It's another one that makes me ask, "Why do young people like this?"



Bonus Video, "Swagger Wagon" -- Toyota

And, here, just because it is so awesome, is the video that inspired the title of this post. It's from a 2009 campaign that Toyota did for the Sienna minivan, and I can't thank my coolcousin Dana enough for reminding me that it exists.

Top 10 (or so) Minivan Songs of 2016

Ch... Ch... Changes...

We've gone over 120K miles on the CoolVan, and I have no plans to trade it in.

From last year's post: "This is the third annual Minivan Songs post for me, and it's been the hardest so far." Well, we have a new champion in the Hardest So Far category. Not only do the cooldaughters share less of their music with me, but we've also got a really cool swim carpool now that means I only have to drive like two times per week. There are just fewer chances for me to hear the Top 40.

But... CoolDaughter #1 turned 13 this year, which meant that she attended a whole slew of bar / bat mitzvahs including her own. I'm not totally oblivious to what goes on in the world of pop. And certain sounds have started to seep into the girls' psyches. Like last year, this list goes beyond 10. I have my reasons. Several of these songs came out in years other than 2016, but this was what our van sounded like this year.

We may all be living through the end of the American Experiment, but at least there's still pop music.

10. "My House" -- Flo Rida

I think both cooldaughters pretty much can't stand this song, but the degree to which it was loved by all of the boys during bar / bat mitzvah season was a big topic of conversation. It's catchy, and watching a bunch of kids bounce to it in some darkened event space is pretty funny.



9. "Work from Home" -- Fifth Harmony ft. Ty Dolla $ign

There was some other song by Fifth Harmony a few years ago that CoolDaughter #2 really liked. I think they played it pretty regularly between shows on Disney Channel or something. As a matter of fact, I thought Fifth Harmony were some kinda Disney Channel band. This is not a Disney Channel song. It is one of those songs that features a mechanical repetition that I'm sure was tested on primates in a lab before it was released into the world.




8. "Girls Talk Boys" -- Five Seconds Of Summer

I have a confession to make. I kind of really don't like the original Ghostbusters. Back in my contrarian teen years (which continue to this day), it just seemed like some big corporate piece of schlock to me. Anyway, I never saw the new one.

This song came on in the car when I was bringing CoolDaughter #1 and her friend CoolMags back from a junior lifeguard tournament this past summer. They had a little trouble believing that it was 5SOS at first, but then they started talking about how they wished they could go to the 5SOS concert that was coming up at PNC THAT VERY WEEKEND. I forget how it happened, but they ended up in the 11th row somehow; and it didn't cost me a dime!



7. "We Don't Talk Anymore" -- Charlie Puth ft. Selena Gomez

Rumson boy makes good. I kept seeing pictures on social media of CD1's friends and their moms at various Charlie Puth appearances throughout the area over the course of the year. CD1 likes the music, but doesn't seem to be super into it. I didn't even know the kid was from around here when I put him on the list last year. Oh, well.



6. "Cheap Thrills" -- Sia ft. Sean Paul

So, our corporate musical overlords have that monkey lab where they test out their songs and monitor the brain activity of higher primates to see what will be a hit and what won't.

And then there is Sia.

She appears to have been born with some version of perfect pitch that allows her to write songs that humans have trouble resisting. When "Cheap Thrills" came up as a potential entry on this list, I had no idea what song anyone was referring to. Then I played it. Immediate recognition as my eyes glazed over and I began bopping along.



5. "Dangerous Woman" -- Ariana Grande

"Somethin' 'bout, somethin' bout, somethin' 'bout choo..."

Ariana Grande has a big, big voice. I get the impression that she thinks nobody believes that, though. I remember that during her SNL performance, she did a totally a cappella version of whatever hit song she had out at the time. And there's an a cappella version of this song on YouTube as well. Ariana, it's cool. We all know you can sing.



4. "Cake by the Ocean" -- DNCE

I'm sure this came out in 2015, but I have a 2016 beef with DNCE. I headed over to Austin's Waterloo Records when I was at South By Southwest in March to catch a band from Louisville called White Reaper. They're a wild garage rock band I'd seen at Asbury Lanes a few months prior. When I got into the Waterloo parking lot where the stage was set up, I couldn't get near the stage.

"What the hell?" I thought. "Why are all of these people packed in here to see White Reaper who have like 2 EPs and are playing 25 shows here this week?" Then I saw all the poster board. The letters DNCE and pictures of Joe Jonas. Guess who was on right after White Reaper?

Also, according to Joe Jonas, "...these Swedish producers we were working with kept confusing 'sex on the beach' with 'cake by the ocean.'" Yeah. Like those are totally similar. Whatever.



3. "Closer" -- The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey

CD1 seems to really like this song. There's definitely something earwormy about the beats and the vocoder / AutoTune or whatever on Andrew Taggart's vocals. The song was also the first number 1 single for Washington, NJ native, Halsey.



1. (CD2) "Stressed Out" -- tweny one pilots

I'm just guessing here; but, I think if CD2 had to pick a number 1, it would be this one by twenty one pilots. As I mentioned last year, if one of her favorite songs isn't playing, she'd almost rather have the radio turned off. She won't let me turn this one off.

At the end of the last school year, CD2's school had this karaoke sing along thing one afternoon. It was the most horrible idea anyone ever had ever as under-10-year-old kids just ran amok screaming like maniacs. I do remember CD2 and some kid sitting behind me singing along enthusiastically to "Stressed Out" though.

CD1 knows every word and proved it to me last night in the van.



1. (CD1) "i hate u, i love u" -- gnash ft. olivia o'brien

"and now all this toyme is passing boy but oy still can't seem to tell you whoy..."

That's fun.

Anyway, CD1 loves this. She kind of half-closes her eyes and sings along. We're all so romantic as teenagers. When I was going over possibilities for this list with her, this was her clear number 1. "Oh my God, I love this."



The Special Section

"Bad Reputation" -- Joan Jett

Last year, CD1 binge watched all of Freaks and Geeks, which I found pretty cool on its own. She was still riding on my iTunes account at the time, and I remember sitting in Barnacle Bill's and getting the iTunes receipt for "Bad Reputation" in my email. I almost cried. She plugs in her iPhone and plays this one in the van on the way to every single swim meet.

She also tells the story of how, when she put this on as her song analysis selection in music class, everyone turned to her, mouths agape, when the first chords rang out.



"Beat on the Brat" -- Ramones

CD2 cannot get enough of this song. Her reaction upon hearing it for the first time was, "Whoever wrote these lyrics is a genius!" And right then and there, my 9-year-old daughter summed up The Ramones.

When we drive around as a family, the Ramones' catalog is something we can all agree on.



"Ziggy Stardust" -- David Bowie, "Let's Go Crazy" -- Prince

There were a couple of mornings this year when I put some stuff on that I'm pretty sure neither of the cooldaughters had heard at that point. I drove them to school, and I think my voice may have cracked a bit as I sang along. They sing along when they hear these songs now, too.

*Not sure how long the Prince clip will be available online, but it's been there since August.

Top 10 Minivan Songs of 2015

They Grow Up So Fast

This is the third annual Minivan Songs post for me, and it's been the hardest so far. CoolDaughter #1 is entering her teen years and spends lots of time listening to music in her earbuds these days. When I drive her and her teammates home from swim practice, they pretty much just stare at their phones in silence. CoolDaughter #2 is passionate about the few songs she loves; but, if one of them isn't on when she sits in the car, she'd rather not have the radio on at all.

Even with the changing musical climate inside the van, I had a difficult time keeping this list at 10. Let's just get this right out of the way: Adele's "Hello" is not on here. There's no reason for that other than the fact that, at this late stage of the year, we're listening to the radio in the van together much less than at the beginning; so I'm not even sure if they've heard it -- as unbelievable as that sounds.

Anyway, lets get to it.

10. "Sugar" -- Maroon 5

I'm not what you'd call a Maroon 5 fan. CoolDaughter #2 seems to love everything they put out. She's an emotive little singer. She used to writhe around in her car seat; but now that she's front seat legal, she's got a little more room to bop around and play with the volume. The whole 70s vibe of this one gets her going.



9. "Uma Thurman" -- Fallout Boy

This is the one that samples the theme song from The Munsters, not the one that samples Suzanne Vega's "Tom's Diner." Got it? Good.



8. "Ex's and Oh's" -- Elle King

There's something dark and retro that I kinda like about this one. Though it's filled with the standard top 40 double-entendres that make you cringe when your 8yo is singing along ("They always wanna come, but they never wanna leave."). It's tough being a cooldad in the modern world.



7. "Jellyfish" -- Laura Stevenson

This could be my favorite song of the year since it describes my feelings about my own daily life to a "T." I love it, so I want the kids to like it. I play it in the car when they're with me sometimes. The first line of the song is "I'm fucking hideous and spiteful." Most of the time, the chorus ends with, "I'm wasting away my life and gifts on being a piece of shit." I love it. I am a bad father.



6. "Cheerleader" -- OMI

This song always gives me kind of a Paul Simon Graceland vibe. I like the trumpet. CD2: "This guy sounds like he's from Jamaica." She knows accents already.



5. "Can't Feel My Face" -- The Weeknd

OK. This one's just good. I was never a Michael Jackson fan, but I would've probably liked him better if he sounded more like this. This one brings out CD1's serious face and CD2 does that swooshy arm thing.



4. "See You Again" -- Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth

Cheese. Total, utter, and complete cheese. CD1 and I drove to and from a swim meet together one weekend; and this was on one station, then the next, then the next, as if it were on a continuous multi-station loop. Ugh.



3. "Shut Up And Dance" -- Walk The Moon

This one came out in late 2014, so that means it was on in the car all year long. I know all the words. We sing it as a trio as we drive to school, swimming, karate, Hebrew school, whatever. It's got like an 80s pop radio feel about it, but I can't figure out who I'm hearing. I keep coming back to this, but CD2 does this soulful voice thing that is a total crack-up.



2 (CD2). "Stitches" -- Shawn Mendes

I extend my finger. It moves closer to the radio. "Nooooooo!!!! Don't change this!!!!!" This is CD2's favorite song of the year. I don't know if it plays in between all the shows she watches on Disney and Nickelodeon (Mendes does have kind of a Disney Channel look about him) or what, but she's obsessed. I feel like he's got a little of that Peter Brady "It's Time to Change" thing going on with his voice.



2 (CD1). "Photograph" -- Ed Sheeran

CD1 loves Mr. Sheeran. I know this isn't her favorite Ed Sheeran song. That honor goes to the makes you want to go crawl in a hole and die when your pre-teen daughter is singing it "Don't," but this is the current hit with an official 2015 (single) release. CD2 and I are much more "meh" on Ed Sheeran, but this goes here for my oldest.



1b. "Uptown Funk" -- Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars

Because, of course. Another late 2014 release, but still. CD1 does every "Straight masterpiece!" "So pretty!" and "Make a dragon wanna retire, man!"



1a. "Wildest Dreams" -- Taylor Swift

It was tough. "Style," "Bad Blood," and "Wildest Dreams" all got single releases in 2015. I probably would have gone with "Style," but the kiddos seem to love this one best. I'm not sure if it's the way she pronounces the "ow"s in this song or the "He's so (tall) and handsome as (hell)," but something really grabs them. It's a pretty well-structured song, I guess. Like a manipulative Hollywood blockbuster. I'm sure it employs the same findings, gleaned from years of research on human brain chemistry and pop culture.



Honorable Mentions

"Heartbeat Song" -- Kelly Clarkson

This is like a total rip-off of Jimmy Eat World's "The Middle," right?



"Bad Art and Weirdo Ideas" -- Beach Slang

Another song I force on them that has an F-word right at the beginning. Oh, well. My other favorite song of the year and CD1 likes it.

Top 10 Minivan Songs of 2014

Katy Perry performing "Dark Horse" at Prudential Center in July.

Let's Get This One Out Of The Way

It's list season. I'm trying to line up some pretty interesting guests to take us through 2014 the way they saw it, and I'll be publishing a few lists of my own.

Again, I make no claim that these are "Best Of" lists. The closest thing, for the ones I write myself anyway, is more "My Favorites From Among The Things I Got Around To Hearing" in 2014. They're intended to be a reflection on the previous year and to be, maybe, a good source of recommendations from the many, many things -- especially from our guests -- that we may have missed.

I'm starting off this year's listmania with pop. The cooldaughters still haven't reached that time in their lives where music is all-consuming. I feel like CoolDaughter #1 is about a year away, and CoolDaughter #2 is four or five years behind -- that is, if it happens for either one of them at all. They do have their favorites, though. That's what I'm listing here. The rankings are based on my own mental calculation of what they seemed to be singing along to the most with a bit of my personal preferences mixed in to break any ties.

Here we go.

10. "All About That Bass" -- Meghan Trainor

This should probably be higher. It ended up being one of the biggest songs of 2014, and it has a pretty positive -- if kind of crassly expressed -- message.

I have an aftermarket satellite radio that's "always on." The kids can see what's playing even if I have the sound from the car stereo turned off. This is one of the songs where they go, "PUT ON THE RADIO!" when they see it scroll across the screen. They sing along to it with an affectation similar to Ms. Trainor's.

I hate it, though, so it's Number 10. Sorry.

9. "I Really Don't Care" -- Demi Lovato ft. Cher Lloyd

I hear this song, and I immediately think the verse is a rip-off of "I Love It" by Icona Pop / Charli XCX. The cooldaughters love Demi Lovato, though. I could just as easily have put "Neon Lights" on here, but I like the sing-songy nature of this one a lot better. It also does a better job of capturing that yell / sing thing that Demi Lovato does, which the girls seem to love so much.

I also like it when songs include lines that CoolDaughter #1 is just starting to get. When Lovato sings, "I'll walk right by you and put one finger in the air," she looks at me smirking. CoolDaughter #2 notices from the backseat and says, "What?" Her sister just gives her a wise old, "never mind" like she's in on some grown-up joke.

8. "Fiona Coyne" -- Saint Pepsi

Built on a keyboard riff that repeats for pretty much the entire song, this is one of those SiriusXMU songs that CD1 keeps me from changing every time.

She bounces slightly in her seat after practice, her damp swimsuit probably chilling her to the bone, as she sings "Oh darlin'! Won't you believe me? I'll love you 'til the record stops, the record stops!"

7. "Shake It Off" -- Taylor Swift

I read something earlier this year that said that familiarity and repetition are just as powerful in our brains as truly loving a song. Neither of the kids greeted "Shake It Off" with the enthusiasm of anything off of Red. The relentless airplay, though, eventually broke their wills; and they sang along with it just as enthusiastically as they do with any pop mega-hit.

We all collectively cringe, though, during the spoken-word break / bridge or whatever it is. The song also contains several of the little contrivances that I never like in a Taylor Swift song: that "mmm-hmmm," the stray giggle. Coming up with our own "blankers gonna blank, blank, blank" has become a favorite minivan game.

"Flakers gonna flake, flake, flake"
"Bakers gonna bake, bake, bake"
"Taters gonna tate, tate, tate"

etc.

6. "Dark Horse" -- Katy Perry ft. Juicy J

I don't know. I kinda like Katy Perry. Even though, just like every big pop star, every word out of her mouth is like a commerical for Covergirl or something, she seems weirdly honest to me. Like her public persona may be pretty close to her actual persona. We saw her in concert over the summer, and I found the whole thing pretty enjoyable.

Anyway, "Dark Horse" is one of those songs during which CD2 really emotes. CD1 memorized the whole Juicy J rap. The video is batshit crazy Illuminati conspiracy theorist bait, so that's cool.

5. "Problem" -- Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea

Big year for Ariana and Iggy. *SPOILER ALERT* This isn't the last you'll see of Iggy on this list.

Grande can sing, and the funny thing is that her speaking voice is kind of weirdly similar to her singing voice. Most of what the girls sing along with is the whispered "...one less problem withoutcha" part.

I've always felt like this song is a textbook example of this:



4. "Fancy" -- Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX

The bass on this song has been scientifically engineered to access your reptile brain. Your reaction to the bass is involuntary. All about that bass.

And what's more fun than imitating Iggy's "Who dat? Who dat? I-G-G-Y?" As a matter of fact, as a reaction to typing that out, I'm doing it right now.

On the way up to the Katy Perry concert, CD1 and all her buds were going crazy singing along with this one in the "way back" of the van, and it was hilarious and awesome.

Also, Charli XCX is a pop genius.

3. "Boom Clap" -- Charli XCX

Did I mention that Charli XCX is a pop genius?

This is probably my favorite song on this list. It's just a good freakin' pop song. I had no idea that it was part of the The Fault In Our Stars soundtrack until CD1, obsessive tween, pointed it out to me.

Every time I hear Charli XCX on the radio, I think back to the fact that, last year, she was scheduled to play The Wonder Bar. The Wonder Bar. She canceled when she got added as support for Paramore's UK tour.

Would be kind of cool to be able to say, "Yeah. I saw her when she played to 100 people at The Wonder Bar in Asbury Park."

2. "Cool Kids" -- Echosmith

"I wish that I could / Be like the kookids / Because the kookids / They seem to fit in."

Kind of like Taylor Swift's "chubble, chubble, chubble" or Imagine Dragons' "wacka doodle do ay, doodle do ay" (CD2 gets credit for that one),  I always sing along to this song the way I hear it.

One of CD1's absolute favorites. Like the Number 1 entry, it gives me hope that maybe she's coming around to something that more closely approximates my own musical tastes. I mentioned a while back that I surreptitiously loaded her iPhone with some "starter material," but I don't think she's listened to any of it yet.

Maybe soon.

1. "She Looks So Perfect" -- 5 Seconds Of Summer

CoolDaughter #1 bought this -- instead of some app or game upgrade -- with her own iTunes account balance. Something she's been doing more and more. Like I said, she may be catching the wonderful / terrible music bug.

I'm not sure if this band is selling themselves as a boy band or as a corporate pop punk band, but when I hear all the "Whoah ohhs," "Hey eys," I can't help picturing them, without any instruments, waving their arms back and forth, leading the crowd in a giant singalong.

It's got some "mature themes," I think. "She looks so perfect standing there in my American Apparel underwear." What are ya gonna do? I enjoy seeing the kids being passionate about a song. This one has definite stepping stone / gateway potential.

Honorable Mentions

"Let It Go" -- Idina Menzel

CD2: "I like the Adel Dazeem version better than the Demi Lovato version."

"Rather Be" -- Clean Bandit ft. Jess Glynne

Generic lyrics. A band name that sounds like it came out of a board room. Kids love it, though. I don't know.