They Grow Up So Fast
This is the third annual Minivan Songs post for me, and it's been the hardest so far. CoolDaughter #1 is entering her teen years and spends lots of time listening to music in her earbuds these days. When I drive her and her teammates home from swim practice, they pretty much just stare at their phones in silence. CoolDaughter #2 is passionate about the few songs she loves; but, if one of them isn't on when she sits in the car, she'd rather not have the radio on at all.
Even with the changing musical climate inside the van, I had a difficult time keeping this list at 10. Let's just get this right out of the way: Adele's "Hello" is not on here. There's no reason for that other than the fact that, at this late stage of the year, we're listening to the radio in the van together much less than at the beginning; so I'm not even sure if they've heard it -- as unbelievable as that sounds.
Anyway, lets get to it.
10. "Sugar" -- Maroon 5
I'm not what you'd call a Maroon 5 fan. CoolDaughter #2 seems to love everything they put out. She's an emotive little singer. She used to writhe around in her car seat; but now that she's front seat legal, she's got a little more room to bop around and play with the volume. The whole 70s vibe of this one gets her going.
9. "Uma Thurman" -- Fallout Boy
This is the one that samples the theme song from The Munsters, not the one that samples Suzanne Vega's "Tom's Diner." Got it? Good.
8. "Ex's and Oh's" -- Elle King
There's something dark and retro that I kinda like about this one. Though it's filled with the standard top 40 double-entendres that make you cringe when your 8yo is singing along ("They always wanna come, but they never wanna leave."). It's tough being a cooldad in the modern world.
7. "Jellyfish" -- Laura Stevenson
This could be my favorite song of the year since it describes my feelings about my own daily life to a "T." I love it, so I want the kids to like it. I play it in the car when they're with me sometimes. The first line of the song is "I'm fucking hideous and spiteful." Most of the time, the chorus ends with, "I'm wasting away my life and gifts on being a piece of shit." I love it. I am a bad father.
6. "Cheerleader" -- OMI
This song always gives me kind of a Paul Simon Graceland vibe. I like the trumpet. CD2: "This guy sounds like he's from Jamaica." She knows accents already.
5. "Can't Feel My Face" -- The Weeknd
OK. This one's just good. I was never a Michael Jackson fan, but I would've probably liked him better if he sounded more like this. This one brings out CD1's serious face and CD2 does that swooshy arm thing.
4. "See You Again" -- Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth
Cheese. Total, utter, and complete cheese. CD1 and I drove to and from a swim meet together one weekend; and this was on one station, then the next, then the next, as if it were on a continuous multi-station loop. Ugh.
3. "Shut Up And Dance" -- Walk The Moon
This one came out in late 2014, so that means it was on in the car all year long. I know all the words. We sing it as a trio as we drive to school, swimming, karate, Hebrew school, whatever. It's got like an 80s pop radio feel about it, but I can't figure out who I'm hearing. I keep coming back to this, but CD2 does this soulful voice thing that is a total crack-up.
2 (CD2). "Stitches" -- Shawn Mendes
I extend my finger. It moves closer to the radio. "Nooooooo!!!! Don't change this!!!!!" This is CD2's favorite song of the year. I don't know if it plays in between all the shows she watches on Disney and Nickelodeon (Mendes does have kind of a Disney Channel look about him) or what, but she's obsessed. I feel like he's got a little of that Peter Brady "It's Time to Change" thing going on with his voice.
2 (CD1). "Photograph" -- Ed Sheeran
CD1 loves Mr. Sheeran. I know this isn't her favorite Ed Sheeran song. That honor goes to the makes you want to go crawl in a hole and die when your pre-teen daughter is singing it "Don't," but this is the current hit with an official 2015 (single) release. CD2 and I are much more "meh" on Ed Sheeran, but this goes here for my oldest.
1b. "Uptown Funk" -- Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars
Because, of course. Another late 2014 release, but still. CD1 does every "Straight masterpiece!" "So pretty!" and "Make a dragon wanna retire, man!"
1a. "Wildest Dreams" -- Taylor Swift
It was tough. "Style," "Bad Blood," and "Wildest Dreams" all got single releases in 2015. I probably would have gone with "Style," but the kiddos seem to love this one best. I'm not sure if it's the way she pronounces the "ow"s in this song or the "He's so (tall) and handsome as (hell)," but something really grabs them. It's a pretty well-structured song, I guess. Like a manipulative Hollywood blockbuster. I'm sure it employs the same findings, gleaned from years of research on human brain chemistry and pop culture.
Honorable Mentions
"Heartbeat Song" -- Kelly Clarkson
This is like a total rip-off of Jimmy Eat World's "The Middle," right?
"Bad Art and Weirdo Ideas" -- Beach Slang
Another song I force on them that has an F-word right at the beginning. Oh, well. My other favorite song of the year and CD1 likes it.
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